"A thousand times I've failed, still your mercy remains..." -Inside Out, Hillsong
As I'm driving late at night with hardly anyone on the roads, it's the perfect time for worship for me. I can be alone with God and get lost in his love. I feel the chills and warmth, almost as if He is resting his hand on my shoulder. It's the moment when I realize He has total control over my life. I feel embraced while listening to one of my favorite songs, "Inside Out" By Hillsong plays next on my iPod. It's a beautiful moment. I capture these moments every so often, not as often as I should. But when I do catch them, it feels so genuine. I arrive at my destintion and put the car in park. It's cold tonight. 32 degrees reads on my dashboard and snow falls so slowly and quietly. The snowflakes are large, but spread out. It's like a scene from a movie. I want to stay and finish the song that's playing, but truely I don't want this moment to end. As I am taking it all in, I observe more of the snowflakes that are falling on my windshield. I wonder if we are like them in Christ.
Are we just snowflakes falling slowly into our destinations in life? Will the destination be a life with Jesus Christ and stay for awhile in a pile of snow? Or will it just disappear in the darkness and melt away on the hood of my car?
I am craving for a life with Him.
An old friend of mine and I had a conversation when I got back from Florida this summer about how hungry we were for Him, but didn't know where we would fit in. It was easy to be hungry this summer because I was surrounded by so many others who were dedicated to Him. I am sad to say that I haven't kept this craving that I had. Maybe its because of my enviornment. Which isn't negative, but definetly not the same as the one at Life Church. It comes and goes. That's not how I want to live my life.
We all need to be commited just like He is for us. We need to do the same.
1 Chronicles 16:34Give thanks to God—he is good and his love never quits. Say, "Save us, Savior God, round us up and get us out of these godless places, So we can give thanks to your holy Name, and bask in your life of praise." Blessed be God, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Then everybody said, "Yes! Amen!" and "Praise God!"
His mercy and grace never leaves us, so we shall never leave Him.
12.17.2011
11.11.2011
comfortable
Sitting here, candles lit, glass of wine, soft music playing, I definitely feel a like girl. Recently, I've realized so much about myself. And it feels so right.
For the very first time in my life (which is hard to admit) I feel completely comfortable in my own skin. This is something new, because I have always been comfortable in relationships, but that isn't what it should feel like. I, myself, need to be happy with who I am...before being with anyone else. That goes for anybody out there! How can you love someone else when you don't love who you are?
I have established my personality. I'm going to wear what I want, when I want. Not worried about what people think. My clothes/looks don't define me. I'm beautiful, just like an woman out there. And I will not be objectified. I am who I am and I'll find someone that loves me just for that...when the times right.
My life is not to waste. After all, The Good Lord only gave me one on this earth. I know this might seem cheesy to some, but I believe at some point in our lives, we all hit this point. I've come to realize that I need to enjoy myself more. I'm not conceded, I am just confident in myself now.
Tonight was a marking point for me. Discussing love, life and ourselves, my friend Sarah and I enjoyed a night in the Short North. I have so much motivation to try everything I can now. Sarah is an inspiration to me and I can't thank her enough for showing me what life is really about. She's been everywhere. Her next trip is to South America for 3 months. I wish I had her guts. Maybe I'm not ready to move out of the country for 3 months, but I gotta start somewhere. I have experienced love, heartbreak, and.....well that's about it! I'm not opposed to love. But I'm not going to worry about where it is. It'll drop right in my lap when it's ready to. But for now, it's ME time!
I wanna run. I wanna get out of here. It's not that I don't love my friends and family, but I need me all to myself. Since I can't leave just yet...I'll do the best I can with new things.
Funny, how I'm closing this post, spotify plays Miranda Lambert's "Look at Miss Ohio". Summing it up perfectly.
For the very first time in my life (which is hard to admit) I feel completely comfortable in my own skin. This is something new, because I have always been comfortable in relationships, but that isn't what it should feel like. I, myself, need to be happy with who I am...before being with anyone else. That goes for anybody out there! How can you love someone else when you don't love who you are?
I have established my personality. I'm going to wear what I want, when I want. Not worried about what people think. My clothes/looks don't define me. I'm beautiful, just like an woman out there. And I will not be objectified. I am who I am and I'll find someone that loves me just for that...when the times right.
My life is not to waste. After all, The Good Lord only gave me one on this earth. I know this might seem cheesy to some, but I believe at some point in our lives, we all hit this point. I've come to realize that I need to enjoy myself more. I'm not conceded, I am just confident in myself now.
Tonight was a marking point for me. Discussing love, life and ourselves, my friend Sarah and I enjoyed a night in the Short North. I have so much motivation to try everything I can now. Sarah is an inspiration to me and I can't thank her enough for showing me what life is really about. She's been everywhere. Her next trip is to South America for 3 months. I wish I had her guts. Maybe I'm not ready to move out of the country for 3 months, but I gotta start somewhere. I have experienced love, heartbreak, and.....well that's about it! I'm not opposed to love. But I'm not going to worry about where it is. It'll drop right in my lap when it's ready to. But for now, it's ME time!
I wanna run. I wanna get out of here. It's not that I don't love my friends and family, but I need me all to myself. Since I can't leave just yet...I'll do the best I can with new things.
Funny, how I'm closing this post, spotify plays Miranda Lambert's "Look at Miss Ohio". Summing it up perfectly.
10.19.2011
Crazy, BUSY, Cool
It's the middle of fall people! Can you believe it!? This year has flown by! I feel as if New Years was yesterday. I think I can for the first time, remember absolutley everything that happened from then until now. What great memories! What great changes!
It's cold now. Which is a nice change from my hot summer in Fort Myers. I don't LOVE the cold, but I appreciate cooler weather just for the sweaters! I have missed them alot.
I'm all over the place this semester (still weird to say), but I think it's good for me. Even though it's stressful at times, one of my weaknesses is time managment, but that's improving alot! Here's just some of what's on my plate this semester.
It's been a little crazy but I want to add more!
My professors have been amazing, especially Ms. Nancy Paul, who teaches my interviewing class. Never realized how much there was behind interviewing.
I've had the best support from my advisor, Dr. Demas and our engineer Steve Rossman.
My Mom and Dad haven't pushed me to do anything I don't want to do, but are behind me every step of the way. My friends, or should I say my second family at the communication building, are amazing. It's been great to encourage each other and spend time together in and outside of the department. Like I mentioned in my last post, I have never been so motivated in my life. The Good Lord is doing great things. I'm excited to see where I'm going to be next year. I'm just grateful that I have figured out what direction I want to go when I graduate. That was one of my goals for the year and I can already check that off my list.
Other Goals
It's cold now. Which is a nice change from my hot summer in Fort Myers. I don't LOVE the cold, but I appreciate cooler weather just for the sweaters! I have missed them alot.
I'm all over the place this semester (still weird to say), but I think it's good for me. Even though it's stressful at times, one of my weaknesses is time managment, but that's improving alot! Here's just some of what's on my plate this semester.
- 15 credit hours
- Comm-Ment Mentor
- Anchor for WOCC
- Helping with Outside Productions
- Marketing and Promotions with WOCC
- Job at Justice
- Applying for internships/Job Searching
- Senior Year Experience Project
- Nannying kids twice a week
It's been a little crazy but I want to add more!
My professors have been amazing, especially Ms. Nancy Paul, who teaches my interviewing class. Never realized how much there was behind interviewing.
I've had the best support from my advisor, Dr. Demas and our engineer Steve Rossman.
My Mom and Dad haven't pushed me to do anything I don't want to do, but are behind me every step of the way. My friends, or should I say my second family at the communication building, are amazing. It's been great to encourage each other and spend time together in and outside of the department. Like I mentioned in my last post, I have never been so motivated in my life. The Good Lord is doing great things. I'm excited to see where I'm going to be next year. I'm just grateful that I have figured out what direction I want to go when I graduate. That was one of my goals for the year and I can already check that off my list.
Part of my Comm Family
Best Friend Kahla
some other family members
Other Goals
- Stop biting nails
- Establish a polished resume and cover letter
- Gain an internship
- Start workouts
9.17.2011
Changing seasons...and life.
Well it's becoming evident that The Good Lord is really in control of my life right now. I would have never planned for the last 2 weeks to have gone the way the did. The weather is getting cooler and fall is setting here in Ohio (of course with the occassional "hot" day). It's a feeling which I have missed. Football games, warm colors, hot chocolate and jackets. But my favorite season is bringing me a different reality this year.
It's hitting me hard that I'm a senior in College and unlike High School, I won't be going back to more schooling (at least not next year). I'm going to have to enter the working world.
FULL TIME.
I'm excited for it, but preparing myself for it is the challenge. Balancing the transition while trying to do well this year is so overwhelming.
I have a song that is summing up my feelings about this. It's funny how music can speak to you. They are expressive to how you are feeling at that moment and can sometimes provide a solution.
"So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young, So I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun"
-"Stop This Train"-John Mayer
I wish some things were different sometimes. We all do. But thats life. That's the story that The Lord has written for us. We need to understand that. There are things we can alter, but if we do our best at something and it doesn't turn out the way we want, then accept that maybe it's not supposed to happen. And it's going to be hard. It's always difficult when you desire something so bad, you plan as best you can to contain it, but you're going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. Live the life He would want. Never forget what the most important things are in life. Everything will come together in His plan for you. Just like I said in my last post, Jeremiah 29:11.
I want to close out with the lyrics from "Stop This Train" that provided a solution for me.
"See once in a while when it's good, It'll feel like it should...
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing...until you cry when you're driving away in the dark"
It's hitting me hard that I'm a senior in College and unlike High School, I won't be going back to more schooling (at least not next year). I'm going to have to enter the working world.
FULL TIME.
I'm excited for it, but preparing myself for it is the challenge. Balancing the transition while trying to do well this year is so overwhelming.
I have a song that is summing up my feelings about this. It's funny how music can speak to you. They are expressive to how you are feeling at that moment and can sometimes provide a solution.
"So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young, So I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun"
-"Stop This Train"-John Mayer
I wish some things were different sometimes. We all do. But thats life. That's the story that The Lord has written for us. We need to understand that. There are things we can alter, but if we do our best at something and it doesn't turn out the way we want, then accept that maybe it's not supposed to happen. And it's going to be hard. It's always difficult when you desire something so bad, you plan as best you can to contain it, but you're going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. Live the life He would want. Never forget what the most important things are in life. Everything will come together in His plan for you. Just like I said in my last post, Jeremiah 29:11.
I want to close out with the lyrics from "Stop This Train" that provided a solution for me.
"See once in a while when it's good, It'll feel like it should...
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing...until you cry when you're driving away in the dark"
8.25.2011
Summer Wrapup
I didn't really do as good of a job keeping up with my blog as I thought I would this summer. But here's a little wrap up of it.
It was a wonderful last couple of weeks... had some great experiences of spreading the word at WRXY, building realtionships and preparing myself for what is to come my last year of college. It's overwhelming, but I think I am ready to take it head on. Like I had said, I never thought that my faith would grow along with my knowledge and experience. It's amazing to think about how far I have come.
I have more motivation this year then I ever had! Who knows if I will acomplish all of it, but I am ready to try for it.
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
It was a wonderful last couple of weeks... had some great experiences of spreading the word at WRXY, building realtionships and preparing myself for what is to come my last year of college. It's overwhelming, but I think I am ready to take it head on. Like I had said, I never thought that my faith would grow along with my knowledge and experience. It's amazing to think about how far I have come.
I have more motivation this year then I ever had! Who knows if I will acomplish all of it, but I am ready to try for it.
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
This year is all about the verse. Getting me ready for the real world. I am so nervous, but I must put all my faith in Him.
Here's a little video I put together over the summer. Enjoy!
This year is all about the verse. Getting me ready for the real world. I am so nervous, but I must put all my faith in Him.
Here's a little video I put together over the summer. Enjoy!
7.15.2011
Update in July
My internship at WRXY is going well. I am really enjoying the people I work with and learning new things. It's making me anxious to get back to Otterbein to help apply some of the things to WOCC. Not only am I learning the techinical side, I am learning more about my faith. It's something I didn't expect to include this summer, but it's a comforting feeling.
Also have been enjoying meeting new people here in SW Florida. Sad to say goodbye to some friends. Daniel's cousin, Jarred and his wife Jacey are the first couple we really got to hang out with. They have been so welcoming to me, even when I wasn't dating Daniel yet and we met in Westerville 2 years ago. Jarred just got accepted into FSU in Tallahassee. Got to enjoy their going away party which was a dessert party! Loved the fondue and cream puffs, maybe a little too much.
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Also have been enjoying meeting new people here in SW Florida. Sad to say goodbye to some friends. Daniel's cousin, Jarred and his wife Jacey are the first couple we really got to hang out with. They have been so welcoming to me, even when I wasn't dating Daniel yet and we met in Westerville 2 years ago. Jarred just got accepted into FSU in Tallahassee. Got to enjoy their going away party which was a dessert party! Loved the fondue and cream puffs, maybe a little too much.
Jarred and Jacey Duke
One of Daniel's best friends, Bobby.
7.07.2011
Independence Weekend
A nice long five day weekend was just what I was needing. Alot of relaxation was really nice. Friday was spent looking at some cars with Daniel. He is in desperate need of one. Went to a Hydunai dealer to check out the Sonata, Elantra and Accent. Both us really liked the Elantra. The new ones have a sleeker design and come with alot of features in the standard model. No decisions made just yet. After we ended up back at Mr and Mrs Lynch's for Donna Lee, Daniel's Aunt, Surprise Birthday party. Very fun seeing everyone together with good food. After cake, Daniel and I met up with Jarred, Jacey, Ellen and Jason Duke downtown at Art Walk. Nice to see them and meet some new people.
Saturday got to sleep in a little and then hung out at the house with Daniel watching movies on TV. Then it was off to Mirmar Outlets to shop. Got a LUCKY jacket for $15! :) Daniel got one for $10. Good deals since its the end of the summer. Caught up with some of Daniel's friends Wes and Angela Bell and his brother KJ at Cheeseburger in Paradise. A big UFC fight was on so we ate and watched it.
Went to church on Sunday, followed by a 4th of July picnic. So much good food!! Spent most of the day there and went to the Stouder's on the beach later. A bad storm delayed our swimming in the pool, but we did. Daniel and I took on Sas and Nate in a football game in the pool. We came out CHAMPS!! Had a nice dinner with the Stouder family then called it a night.
Had ANOTHER day of sleeping in and hanging out the house. Daniel and I met some friends at The Bell's. PLayed a game of FARKLE (dice game) then headed out to Punta Rassa. Went to a little get together. Ate some good food, played more FARKLE and stayed to watch the fireworks. Saw them across the water on Sanibel Island.
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Saturday got to sleep in a little and then hung out at the house with Daniel watching movies on TV. Then it was off to Mirmar Outlets to shop. Got a LUCKY jacket for $15! :) Daniel got one for $10. Good deals since its the end of the summer. Caught up with some of Daniel's friends Wes and Angela Bell and his brother KJ at Cheeseburger in Paradise. A big UFC fight was on so we ate and watched it.
Went to church on Sunday, followed by a 4th of July picnic. So much good food!! Spent most of the day there and went to the Stouder's on the beach later. A bad storm delayed our swimming in the pool, but we did. Daniel and I took on Sas and Nate in a football game in the pool. We came out CHAMPS!! Had a nice dinner with the Stouder family then called it a night.
Had ANOTHER day of sleeping in and hanging out the house. Daniel and I met some friends at The Bell's. PLayed a game of FARKLE (dice game) then headed out to Punta Rassa. Went to a little get together. Ate some good food, played more FARKLE and stayed to watch the fireworks. Saw them across the water on Sanibel Island.
Our view. The fireworks were bigger in person.
Tired literally 5 times to get a good picture. Daniel's eyes were closed every single one.
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